The Bottomless Pit of Our Desires

ach day we must confront the endless sea of desires. From the most basic needs of survival to the loftiest ambitions of self-realization, we are constantly driven by an unquenchable thirst for something more, something better. Yet how many of these desires did we ask for or were influenced by external factors? How many asked their parents to be created? How many asked for the circumstances they grew up with?

It is as though since the day we are born we are given a never-ending list of desires that appear to be one step ahead of us. How easy is it then to feel that we have become powerless to the insurmountable wave that we must face on a daily basis. It's no wonder we're left feeling overwhelmed, confused, and sometimes unsatisfied.

The Tamable Beast Within

At first glance, it may appear that our desires are uncontrollable beasts gnawing at the inner most parts of our being, but if we have a clear view of the path ahead, we will realize we're not completely at their mercy. Nor do we need to muster up enough inner strength to slay the beast. As we journey down this path, understanding the deep-seeded root of these desires and how to direct them will become vital to our success.

Deep Into The Mind Of Our Desires

Unless you are a monk devoted to celibacy, you have likely been "required" by your wife or girlfriend to determine which of the 5 love languages whispers sweet nothings to your soul. Sure this may placate the desires you have to be loved and pleased, but do they address our deep eternal desires as a man? Do they provide a sustainable cure, or just mask the symptoms?

In most cases, these tools that we create around our desires and from our desires address our conscious wants and needs. Of course the 5 love languages, having a routine, or having discipline in your life may all aid in mastering our desires. However, they may not come naturally, could lead to unrealized expectations, and do not provide any intrinsic motivation. The reality is that we must reach two primary milestones before these tools will be come effective gear to aid us in the journey of life. First, we must unearth the subconscious mind, which is greatly affected by our past experiences and social conditioning. Thereby, our conscious desires and behaviors are influenced, including those driven by our innate biological needs. Second of all, we must ask ourselves, "Why am I on the path?" & 'Did someone put me on this path?' —a journey to understand the purpose of our existence that is filled with endless beauty and grim realities. One of which we never asked to be a part of.

Author and psychologist, James Hollis, argues that our desires are often a reflection of the subconscious parts of ourselves that we may not be fully aware of. He suggests that by engaging in self-examination, becoming more conscious of our inner selves and how that translates to our thoughts and actions, we can gain a greater understanding of our desires. Hollis also emphasizes the importance of acknowledging our limitations and accepting that we cannot have everything we desire. By letting go of unrealistic or unattainable desires, we can focus our energies on the things that truly matter and bring fulfillment. [1]

A Question Worth Asking

When we eventually ask ourselves those profound questions: 'Why am I on this path in life?' & 'Did someone put me on this path?'—we confront a journey filled with unsolicited requirements and a mountain of obstacles. If we come to understand that we have been molded from birth with conscious and subconscious desires ('I must sleep,' 'I must eat,' 'I must be loved,' or 'I must make love'), we will quickly realize that none of these needs or desires originate solely from ourselves. Did you ask to feel hungry? Did you ask for the results of your pursuits? Did you ask to be born? Yet, we claim these needs as our own and replace them with even more desires. Like the concept of the five love languages, we seek to fulfill our desires with other desires, and so the endless spiral continues.

Those who seek death shall live. Those who seek life shall die. [Yi Sun-sin]

However, if these needs or desires are not of our own asking, then there must be someone who needs us—otherwise, every bit of our existence is in vain. This is where we find true freedom: no longer bound to the pursuit of our needs, yet reassured that we are still needed in this life by someone else, our Creator. We find freedom in transcending our ego and connecting with something greater than ourselves. This realization allows us to become selfless, to serve others with authenticity and purpose, and ultimately to walk a path toward true fulfillment.

Challenge:

Commit to better understanding the desires rooted in your subconscious. Find the joy and freedom in living sacrificially for others. See the Objective(s) for ideas.

Objective(s):

1. Write down all of your desires throughout the day for an entire week.
2. Write down what motivates you and compare it to your desires.
3. Ask yourself: Are taking this desires to seriously? Why are you so committed to them? Are you serving yourself or others through them?
4. Set Aside an entire day of disconnecting to your needs and desires. Fast, tune-out, unplug; whatever it takes.
5. Break one bad habit today.